Reality Check

I want to share something that's been on my mind lately.

I have a close friend who read my blog when I started it, then quickly stopped.  As well as she knows me, with my many many shortcomings and frustrations, the blog presented a facade that was so perfect she couldn't handle it.  Even when I saw her recently, we talked about it again.  She said that when she reads my blog, or just about anyone else's, she immediately compares herself to the blogger and comes up with a list of her own faults.  She talked about how even though she's never had an interest in decorating cakes, if she sees a friend of hers with a beautifully decorated cake, she thinks, "I really should know how to decorate cakes."  I've had this exact experience and understand perfectly why this amazing, talented woman prefers to avoid blogs altogether than risk having a pity-party because the temptation to compare herself is just too strong.

At the same time, this makes me think about friends I have who post seemingly everything on social media - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I've seen over-sharing posts that make me physically cringe or cause me to wonder if I actually know certain people as well as I think I do.  What if a potential employer saw these posts?  A graduate school admissions officer?  Your child's teacher?  What if you want to run for political office one day?

Yes, being real is a good thing.  Being honest is a good thing.  We can help people through hard times when we are forthcoming about our own challenges.  We can let others know how to help us in our times of need.  But being real and honest can be taken too far in public settings, in my opinion.

It's a tough balancing act, isn't it?  When it comes to things that go online, which can never be completely removed from public access, I tend to err on the side of "put your best foot forward."  I don't intentionally attempt to give the false impression that I have everything figured out, that my life and family are perfect.  I hope nobody who reads this blog actually thinks those things.  But I admit that there are times when I gloss over or completely omit the less-pleasant aspects of my life.  Perhaps that approach presents a risk of coming across as being better than I really am.  But I am blessed that there are enough good, or at least funny, things happening in our family that I have a lot of positive material to work with.  I am truly grateful for that.

The other thing to remember about this blog is that I didn't start it in an effort to memorialize every aspect of our lives - there are plenty of things that only appear in my journal.  I started the blog because I wanted to share things with family and friends who aren't around us very much.  I wanted to see frustrating/funny things my kids were doing from those readers' perspectives.  I also wanted to give myself another reason to go the extra mile with the kids.  Because for some reason, being able to share fun things with all of you helps me have the right attitude and requisite energy to carry out those fun things.

All of that being said, I know that an occasional reality check is healthy.  So.  I will tell you about our disastrous dinner the other night.  We were having beautiful weather and at dinner time the kids wanted to eat at the picnic table in our back yard.  I quickly agreed and we started getting everything set up.  That's about where the "good" ended.  I tried to keep things under control (Ben was out of town), but the kids were rowdy during dinner.  They were worse after dinner.  They got very rambunctious, they didn't want to clean up (which is part of our nightly dinner routine), and they disturbed our neighbors, who were also outside trying to enjoy the weather.

I was so upset with two kids in particular that I gave them writing assignments which had to be completed before they could be re-admitted into my company (though, to be completely honest, I'm not sure why they would want to be around me because I was pretty peeved).

This is one of the papers I received.  I told this child to write down five things that happened during dinner that shouldn't have happened.

Translation:

Calling each other names.

Throwing water.

Climbing the fence.

Not cleaning up when it was time.

Agreeing to play soccer.

The reality is, we don't go on exciting adventures every weekend.  We don't sit down and play board games after a fun and healthy dinner and happy, effortless baths every night.  Truthfully, there are plenty of times when things are normal, mundane, or downright bad.  There are times when we don't even get along.  But I prefer to share the good, for my sanity, for the enjoyment of my readers, and also for the protection of my family's cyber-reputation.