The other evening a repairman was at our house doing some work in the kitchen while the kids were doing homework at the table. I was sitting with them, but working on a project of my own. Jack had finished his homework, but I was having him erase all of the answers on his worksheet and re-write them using better handwriting - something he knows I insist on whenever he brings homework home, but he still gets upset about it every time.
Jack was even more worked up about it than normal. He had a big fit, clearly unfazed that a perfect stranger was witnessing his behavior. Meanwhile, I was incredibly embarrassed.
I stayed calm. I reminded Jack of what I expected and what he needed to do. I told him for the umpteenth time that he needed to develop good handwriting now if he wanted to have good handwriting as an adult. I prompted him. I coaxed him. But what I really wanted was to crawl away and hide from the repairman who was witnessing this whole episode.
Imagine my surprise when the repairman chimed in with, "You're a good mom. I wish my mom had been more like that."
I couldn't believe it. This man got it. Why had I been so worried about his opinon of me? Why did that become so important, when I knew I was doing the right thing?
I was so thankful that I hadn't gone so far as to drop the issue with Jack for the sake of saving face. Often, it's easier to keep kids calm and happy than it is to teach them the lessons they need to learn. And of course, we need to choose our battles. But we shouldn't let other people's opinions of our parenting strategies deter us from doing what we feel is best. And sometimes, we might be surprised to find that when we think other people see us as losing a battle, they're actually cheering us on, recognizing that we're more focused on winning the war, by raising kids who will be great adults.
Yes!
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