TBT - Ben & Brett's Story

Even though Valentine's Day is over, I wanted to include in one more quick Love Story.  And since this one is mine, it's the hardest to tell.  I've been thinking about how to go about this for weeks and still don't have a great approach, so I'll give it a shot tonight, and if I don't quite get it right then I'll try again another time.  Here goes.

The "One Fish, Two Fish, Me Fish, You Fish" dance in our Singles Ward.

Ben and I met in the Singles Ward in Tallahassee when I started school at FSU.  We met right away - in fact, my first memory of an interaction with Ben was during the Back to School dance Labor Day weekend, but I'm pretty sure that we met at the Institute even before then.

I was pretty excited to be in college and away from home and around lots of guys.  I wanted to go on a mission so I didn't plan to get married any time soon, but I did want to date.  I wanted to date lots of people.  But not Ben.  Ben was good and nice and fun and everything, but I compare myself to Price and Prejudice's Elizabeth Bennett in that I made judgments about Ben before I really knew him, and it took several months for me to give him a fair chance.

Ben called me - frequently - to talk about various Ward activities and to shoot the breeze.  He seemed to be everywhere I went: Institute activities, get-togethers with friends, teaching Sunday School, School of Music concerts.  He happened to be around when my mom and I were walking to a football game one day and she happened to invite him to sit with us.  (My Mom liked Ben long before I did.  She's always been much better at reading people than I am.)  I had a hard time avoiding him, but I made the most of it by letting him give me rides, since I didn't have a car my Freshman year.  Aren't I a good person?

The good thing is, he didn't give up on me.  I didn't find out until we'd been married for several years the reason that he didn't give up on me.  One day when he'd dropped me off at my dorm, he had a witness from the Spirit that we would get married.  Thank goodness he kept that to himself because I doubt I would have reacted positively to that news.

Well, as the school year continued I gradually started to see that there were even more admirable qualities about Ben than I thought at first.  Hard working.  Smart.  Outgoing and friendly.  Righteous and knowledgeable in the gospel.  Helpful and selfless.  Hmm.

At the end of the Spring semester, I asked Ben to deconstruct the loft in my dorm room and help me deliver it (read: deliver it) to someone I was selling it to.  In exchange, I took him out for ice cream.  That was our first unofficial date, and the first official date was a little later when I was living in an apartment off-campus.  He took me to see "Star Wars: Episode II" at Tallahassee Mall.

That was the beginning of a fun, if inconsistent, summer romance.  I kept trying to break up with him but he wouldn't have it.  I just knew our relationship wasn't going anywhere and I didn't see any point in dating if there was no potential.  But he was so patient with me.  I still remember one of his Best Lines.  I was back in SC for the second half of the summer, living at home and working at my Dad's law firm.  Ben and I were on the phone and I was trying to help him see reason.  I said, "What would you say if the girl of your dreams walked through the door right now?"  He didn't hesitate a bit.  "I'd say, 'Hi, Brett!'" Well.  It's hard to break up with that.

We continued to date during the Fall Semester amid busy school/work schedules.  Ben was teaching early morning seminary at the church building near campus so a few days a week he would come over to my apartment after seminary and we'd eat breakfast together before we went to school.  We had study sessions together, he'd attend performances with me for various School of Music requirements, we'd go to lots of Ward or Institute activities together, and we'd just hang out.  I started spending more time at his house, getting to know his family, and Ben would travel with me to see my family.

We started talking seriously about marriage around Christmas time but I had some issues to overcome before I was ready to commit.  Once again, Ben didn't give up on me.  We did lots and lots and lots of talking.  I counseled with people I looked up to, prayed, received Priesthood blessings, and finally broke up with Ben one more time.  But then I knew.  Ben and I got engaged in February of 2003.  We were married in the Orlando, FL LDS temple a few months later, and we've never looked back.

I am amazed now at how well-matched Ben and I are, and how hard it was for me to see it for such a long time.

I love you, Ben.  And I'm so glad that you continue to have patience with me!