The Adventures of Cat & Jack: How To Be a Bad Photographer

1. Gather 5 children under 12.

(I could stop there, but I'll continue.)

2. Place children in a noisy restaurant.

3. Put delicious food in front of them.

4. Wait until they are in the middle of enjoying their delicious food and then exclaim, "Smile!"

5. Continue to take pictures in the vain hope that one will turn out well,

while actually just annoying the children and all of the people around you.

6. Share the least bad of the bad portraits. Or the most bad. Whichever you prefer.

In other news, we found an affordable place to eat where everyone goes home happy,

even without a good photo.

Quotable Cat

"Do you even know what LOL means?" (1/11/14)
"Tonight can I exercise on the elliptical? I want to gain a few pounds or lose a few pounds." (6/16/13)
(while "teaching" her friends about fencing) "I had 21 years of training. I trained until I was seven."(10/13/12)
"Mom, can you do the cream cheese? I'm better at eating than spreading." (Oct. 2012)
"I can still go pretty fast cause my mind's pretty big. It can fit a lot of stuff in it." (Sept. 2012)
(to Eliza) "Your breath smells like burned pickles but it's okay cause you were eating a lot of chips." (8/26/12)
"I want to clean my room so it can be fick and fan." (7/10/12)
(Cat asked me to be a wicked witch and I wondered what I should do in the role) "The wicked witch brushes our hair really hard." (7/10/12)
"You always make me cry! Every time I cry it's because of YOU!" (5/16/12)
"Mom, can you find me on Facebook?" (Jan. 2012)

Jackisms 2013

"Why can't we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at McDonald's?" (10/11/14)
"Guess what? I burped 4 times and farted 3 times. {BURP}. I burped 5 times and farted 3 times." (2/1/14)
"Grammy, how does your sister tickle YOU?" (1/11/14)
"If you're going to marry two boys first you kiss the first boy then you kiss the second a boy on the lips." (6/20/13)
"Pepperonis are the funnest!" (5/25/13)
"Did you know that cheetahs are the fastest tigers on land?" (5/22/13)
"First it was the dinosaurs, then Lehi, then Rescue Bots, then us." (5/8/13)
"Did you know champagne is another word for water?" (5/21/13)
"Prepare to BE a MAZE!" (5/20/13)
"If this bread goes in the trash, it can be recycled. And it turns into a toy!" (2/20/13)
"Mommy, look. My job is easier if I'm a crane. Rrrrrrrmmmm." (2/20/13)
"Does chocolate really MELT?" (2/11/13)
"Mommy. Are you LISTENING to me?" (2/11/13)
"Big bad wolves can't blow this house down cause it's made of bricks and yarn and a little bit of wood." (2/6/13)
(While working on a puzzle) "Ooh, I'm getting so clever at this." (1/24/13)
(While explaining hibernation to me) "Did you know bears celebrate all winter?" (Jan. 2013)

Eliza's Funnies

"Luke tried to eat my whole head, Mom." (6/27/14)
"Mommy, I like how Luke whacks you in the face, and whacks you and whacks you and whacks you." (3/25/14)
"Can I help Luke slobber on his hands because he likes to slobber. (I laugh) I'm serious! He likes slobbering!" (Feb. 2014)
(because I made her eat an egg she wanted me to cook for her) "I wish I didn't have a Mom like you!" (1/31/14)
"Grammy's gonna be late if she isn't on time." (1/3/14)
"I'm a superhero. I save people and I'm stylish and awesome." (12/29/13)
(about Luke) "His kisses are just like slobber." (11/17/13)
"My Daddy is the best daddy ever. He is stronger than ANYBODY." (11/8/13)
"I wish I had a bird on my finger I could keep." (10/25/13)
"Stop talking at me! I'm getting angry at you cause you're making me sad!" --buries head in hands to "cry" for 3 seconds -- (6/14/13)