Luke Funnies

I've been saving up funny things Luke has said since he turned 6. Of course there were many more that I didn't record. But I'm glad I have these written down so I can remember and share them!


A history lesson. 5/6/19
Do you know why we're called Native Americans? Someone sailed with 3 ships and he was trying to go to a place but he ended up in Utah. And he called the people one name but later they said don't call us that. The people he ended up seeing thought the world was flat and he proved that the world wasn't flat. And that's why we're called Native Americans.

Explaining how a swordfish would do if fighting other marine animals. 5/8/19
I think the swordfish would win because the sword could cut through anything. Except titanium. Obviously.

Regarding his friendship (or former friendship?) with his cousin Whit. 6/18/19
He was friends with me for a long time then he totally broke up with me and started liking Liza.

He still loves him a good bubble bath.

When angry with me for making him brush his teeth (which usually isn't a big deal for him). The following should be read in a very threatening tone. 6/18/19
Guess what? CHICKEN BUTT. For YOU. Do you know what that means?

The same night, trying to not brush his teeth. 6/18/19
Luke: Can I have a pass? Cause I can't find my toothbrush.
Me: Have you looked all over the bathroom?
Luke: No.

While pushing away the non-marshmallow Lucky Charms. 6/19/19
Be fwee! Be fwee!

Luke loves stuffed animals so much.  He usually sleeps with almost 20 on or near him.
Froggy is his favorite, though.  One day he was refusing to do his homework so I took his
stuffed animals away for a week, except for Froggy.  I told him if he continued to refuse
to do his homework then Froggy would be grounded too.  He did his homework.

This is probably true. But I wouldn't know for sure. 7/31/19
It hurts a lot when you roll your eyes a whole lot because your eyes start to blur and it hurts a whole lot.

Wardrobe choices. And yes, he does prefer pants to shorts, even in the summer. 8/1/19
Me: Are you sure you want to wear pants? It's pretty warm today.
Luke: Yes. It's my thing. (choosing a shirt) This is a hard decision. (putting out his outfit then laying down on it) Does it fit?

I wish I remember what this was referring to. 8/9/19
Mom, this one's complicated.

Froggy is consistently at the top of Luke's love list. 8/13/19
Jack, if you touch my lightsaber again you WILL be at the bottom of my Love List.

It's very hard to wake Luke up for school in the mornings.

When he demonstrated his floating skills in the pool. 8/13/19
Aren't you gonna clap?

When jumping into the pool with an inner tube float. 8/13/19

I think I dislocated my elbow!

We made a friend while we were out in the garden.

To his 11-year-old big brother. 8/16/19
If you touch me again, I will step on your head.

8/18/19
Luke walked in from church wearing an "I Am a Child of God" crown he got in Primary and immediately sat down at the kitchen table to finish coloring it. I was touched that he cared so much about this crown and the message it represented. When he was finished coloring he stood up and said, "I am the king! You have to do what I say!"