The Story of the Fake Smile

We were out of town the week of Thanksgiving, and that's the time we usually decorate for Christmas.  I try to have everything up except the tree by the Sunday after Thanksgiving, waiting a bit longer to buy a real tree so that it will last through Christmas each year.  But since we were gone, Christmas decorating happened later than normal.

And this year I decided I was ready to go back to having a fake Christmas tree - a prelit tree would be so much faster to set up, and we wouldn't have to keep up with watering the tree and cleaning up the needles, and we wouldn't have to go out and find a tree and then find a place to dispose of it, and wonder if it would survive through Christmas, and the fragrance was never very strong anyway - so when we got back in town after Thanksgiving I started looking for one.  But they were much more expensive than I expected and I didn't want to pay the price for the tree I wanted, and didn't have time to go to the store where they were on sale at a reasonable price.  So the day came - the only day for the next week when we would all be together to decorate the tree - and we still didn't have a tree, and Ben was at Costco and offered to just buy a real one, and it would be our last year.  So I agreed and Ben bought a good tree and maybe there would still be a way we could decorate it that day.

But when he got home and I went to find our tree stand, it wasn't there.  Apparently, I'd decided after last Christmas that I was finished with real trees, and given away our tree stand.  So then Ben had to go buy a tree stand, for this real tree, that I was pretty grumpy about dealing with in the first place.

The tree sat in our garage for three days.  Then one evening we got the tree set up in the house, and told the kids that since we would all be together Friday evening, we would decorate it then.  I thought I'd put the lights on the tree ahead of time so that on Friday we would only have to deal with ornaments and such, but I just never made it happen.  We have plenty of lights, so I thought it would be easy enough to put the lights on Friday evening when we got home from our Ward Christmas Party, maybe while the kids were putting on pajamas and we were listening to familiar Christmas songs.

Well, after a tough week with the kids that culminated on them missing out on the movie night I think I was more excited about than they, we arrived at the Christmas party that was advertised as "dinner and a 10-minute program."  We walked in a bit late because we'd come straight from Eliza's gymnastics class and saw right away that there weren't any tables where we could all sit together.  And I just wanted to leave.  But Ben hadn't arrived yet and the kids were already scatterring and I didn't make a quick getaway before our sweet nextdoor neighbor invited half of us to sit at her table while the other half sat at the next one over.  Then I saw Ben, told him where some of us were sitting, and hurried to the bathroom to have a good cry and (try to) get control of myself.  When I emerged a little later, our entire family had squeezed into the table with our neighbor, so when I joined them that meant 5 adults, 3 teenagers, and 3 children sitting at a table meant for 8.  But everyone was happy and eating dinner and since we weren't going to watch the movie after decorating the tree when we got home anyway, we decided to stay for the 10-minute program - which was good, since our table was right in front of the stage and it would have been tough to sneak out.  Well, the program lasted for at least 30 minutes.  And then Santa came.  So the party ended up taking about an hour and a half.

But the party was good and we were glad to be there and try to get to know some of the people in the ward better.  I started working on the lights when we got home and saw immediately that I was very wrong about how quick and easy that would be.  We had a few strings of lights with green wires, two of which were colored lights and two of which were white lights.  Only 1/3 of one string of white lights worked.  And I have a strong preference for white lights on a Christmas tree.  But we strated stringing the colored lights on, and saw that the two strings weren't enough for the tree.  So we took them off and tried to mix in the 1/3 string of white lights to make it go farther but they were in such a fragile state that as soon as you bumped the wire, the white lights would turn off.  So we dumped the white lights.  And I was paralyzed with frustration.  Ben and Cat tried to talk me into using one of the many strings of lights we had that had white wires, but I knew that would look terrible on the tree.  And Ben offered to go buy more lights (which would also mean decorating the tree the next day) but I was adamant that we not spend any more money on this real tree that nobody wanted in the first place.

So we finally decided to just use the two strings of colored lights and spread them out enough to cover the tree.  And it looked adequate.  And then we started putting ornaments on and the kids loved seeing their old ones and our old ones and it was exactly as it should have been.  But the frustration from the day, from the week, from my life, from this tree made it so hard for me to enjoy it.  I think this is one of my biggest weaknesses.  I have such a hard time recovering from disappointment and frustration.  I know it's a significant failing.  And I try not to let it happen, but it keeps happening, and my family usually ends up paying the price.  I'll keep working on changing this, and maybe when I'm all grown up, it won't be a problem anymore.

Can you tell that's a completely fabricated smile?

It was after 9:00 before we finished decorating the tree and I had a whole list of other things I wanted to do that night, but by the time the kids went to bed, I decided to take a time out and I put myself to bed for a little while too.  Once my time out was over, though, I realized I didn't want to do anything else, so I just went to bed for real.

The next day was better and I had a better attitude, but I was still frustrated with the house and my family and Christmas.  By Sunday morning I couldn't help but think of something a friend had said earlier in the week, "I hate Christmas."  At the time I thought, "How can she say that?!?"  But on Sunday morning, I found myself saying the same thing.  I didn't want to feel so stressed and unhappy, but that's exactly how I was feeling.

I went to choir and desperately hoped there would be an opportunity to have a real conversation with someone who cared, but there just wasn't.  So I pulled up my big-girl panties and kept going.  I took a little time to clean up the kitchen when I got home before meeting my family at church.  I appreciated the meaningful discussion during Relief Society.  Cat and I made some quick Christmas treats right after church.  We did some Book of Mormon reading together.  The whole family spent the evening with cousins, talking and playing and enjoying tacos.  The kids got to bed on time.  Then Cat and I did facial masks and watched videos on lds.org.  And when she went to bed, I sat down and read a few articles in the new Ensign.  And by the time I went to bed last night, I decided I didn't hate Christmas anymore.  I attribute it to good Sabbath Day observance.

This isn't the kind of post I usually publish on this blog.  Ranting soul-bearing stories are usually reserved for my personal blog.  But I feel like this one belongs here for some reason.  Maybe it needs to be preserved as part of the narrative for this Christmas Season so that I can be better in the future.

Jack Plays Flag Football

Jack decided he really wanted to try playing flag football this year, so we signed him up and he was on the rec team for our area.  His team did pretty well, thanks to several talented kids who had played before and a very kind dad who volunteered to coach, and a young man who wanted to help with coaching too.  The season was mostly September and October (with an extra game in November to make up for the one that was cancelled earlier due to poor air quality from the wildfires in the area) with a practice and a game most weeks.  Jack learned a lot and had a really good time playing, and by the end of the season he'd snagged two flags.  I didn't get those on video but I do have footage of him almost getting two flags, so I included that.

  

Cat had fun taking the above pictures of Jack, and even snapped a few of others of us in attendance at the game.  Thanks for the great pictures, Cat!

This and That .... Fall Happenings 2018

FYI: These pictures are not in chronological order.

Our dentist put on a customer appreciation event on a Saturday morning so I brought the kids.  They had waffles from our beloved Belgian waffle truck, balloon animals, games, a (very amateur) magician, and raffles.  The kids loved it, especially the waffles.  I had committed to avoid sweets and white flour for the month of September so I didn't get a waffle.  I didn't enjoy it quite as much.

Luke's friend from preschool is in afternoon kindergarten
but Luke only has school every other Friday, so we try
to get them together on the mornings Luke doesn't have school
so he can have some play time with a friend his age.  (He still
doesn't have any friends his age in our neighborhood.)  Usually
they play at one of their houses but on this day we all went to
the Curiosity Museum at Thanksgiving Point.

Jack was quite the bookworm in the fall, enjoying one if his favorite series, I Survived.


He also discovered a new series he was so into that he was getting into trouble
at school for reading too much - Wings of Fire.


I was at an all-day event with the Choir one Saturday and Ben took the kids to
CVX Live in Provo, which is an event for YouTube fans so they can meet some
of their favorite YouTubers and play games.  Ben and the kids didn't meet any
YouTubers (long lines, more expensive tickets, that kind of thing) but enjoyed
the activities.

Pocky Sticks.

Cat likes to make something sweet and yummy on Sundays.  This time it was
chocolate cake with raspberry whipped cream filling, chocolate and raspberries on top
and more whipped cream on top.  I broke my "no sweets" rule for the month of
September and sampled it.  It was definitely yummy.

Sometimes these two fight like crazy, and other times they're the best of friends.

Cat was having a rough day and one of the things I advised her to do was
to have some ice cream.  (Not the healthiest option, I know, but it can be
therapeutic.)  When I went downstairs, this is how I found her.

Cat and I both had commitments on a Friday night, and the kids had been wanting

to go camping, so Ben and the younger kids pitched a tent in our back yard, watched

a movie, and slept outside.  Cat and I got home toward the end of "Peter Rabbit" and

watched the last part with them before going to sleep in our own beds.

Mall playground.

Eliza was itching to do hair during one of Cat's soccer games
and found a fellow sibling among the spectators who let her
play with her hair.

A soccer game up north took us near my aunt and uncle's house,
which we'd never visited.  We had lunch together and... this is the only picture I have.
Eliza with her first cousin once removed, who is a year younger than Cat.
And a cat.

I really appreciate the time I have to watch Conference at home with my family now that I'm gone so much those weekends.  Here are a few pictures from Saturday afternoon, with some members of the family paying closer attention than others.  That night, the girls and I watched the Women's Session on my bed and I just loved it - the session, and the time with Cat and Eliza.

Cute note from one of Eliza's friends.

Luke modeling an "artifact" Eliza made for the Native American fair.

Luke modeling make-up by Eliza.

Luke digging in the garden plot while I picked raspberries.

More of Cat's Sunday baking.
I don't remember why Jack was sad.

Eliza is getting better and better with her hair!

I always show up at church having not seen the rest of the family all morning.
It was fun to see that Cat and I were twinning, thanks to matching skirts from Suz.

The result of a verrrrrry late night with a babysitter getting locked out of the house
while Ben and I were at a work dinner about 35 minutes away.

More Sunday baking.
This time it was baked churros.

The tongue tattooes don't really show any shape,
but the color is still fun.

The brothers that write "I will not" sentences together...

It's hard to pick Luke up from school when he and his fellow kindergarteners
and his brother are playing with the toys Luke brought for show and tell.

Halloween Festivities 2018

Halloween Season has become almost as busy as Christmas Season for us.  We kicked it off by finding a pumpkin to adorn our front porch. Luke chose this one that was for sale in the front yard of a home in Orem.

The next big thing was a trip to the pumpkin patch.  We went to one in Pleasant Grove this year and had a great time.  The weather was sunny and warm and the kids loved all the activities.  There were huge slides, a 55-gallon drum train, a hay ride to a corn maze, a petting zoo area, large corrugated pipe pieces you could stand up in and race, and more that we didn't do.  We grabbed (bought) a couple more pumpkins on our way out.

Cat had some friends over to hang out.  Ben was out of town so we needed to come up with things the teenagers and the younger kids could all enjoy.  We decided to make Halloween sugar cookies for everyone to decorate.  I had already made and frozen the dough, so Cat cut and baked the cookies and we got everything out for the decorating.  The younger kids were more interested in watching "Hotel Transylvania 3" and didn't participate in the cookie fun, which was good, since Cat and her friends ended up with really crazy cookies, even using the snacking-Doritos as decorations for the cookies.  Remind me to buy a roll of sugar cookie dough next time we want to do this with teenagers.  But they had a great time, and that's what matters.

At the younger kids' school, the kids were told to wear their costumes to school the Friday before Halloween and parents came to watch the costume parade.  I never got good pictures of the kids in their costumes so here's the best I have!  (I hope you'll forgive me for my lack of documenting their costumes this year when I tell you that both Jack and Eliza wore multiple costumes to the various Halloween activities during the month.)  The classes also had their parties on this day, and I helped Jack's class with their party.  The classroom has a Harry Potter theme so we went with a HP theme for the party too.  I was supposed to plan a game/activity and at first thought I'd scour Pinterest for fun and cool things to do but then it dawned on me that I could keep it really simple with Pictionary.  So I wrote down a bunch of HP terms on slips of paper and had the teams compete against each other and the kids LOVED it.  It was a good reminder that sometimes (more often than not, really) simple really is the way to go.

The next day we all went to the Pumpkin Walk, an activity we attend most Octobers.  First was the traditional Puking Pumpkins show, then very hygenic but not very difficult bobbing for apples, checking out the cool pumpkins and watching a professional pumpkin carver, and hanging out with cool animals, including a tortoise and a hare, a hedgehog, a skunk, and a boa constrictor (last two not pictured).  The weather was warm and sunny and we soaked it in as much as we could.  That night we made jack-o-lantern pizzas and watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."

The next day was the Sunday before Halloween and finally time to carve our pumpkins.  The kids are becoming more and more independent with this, which is great.  Eliza even wanted to shave off the outer layer of her pumpkin.  They all turned out really well, and I was excited to have pumpkin seeds to roast.

The day before Halloween the kids helped me prep our decorations for our ward Trunk-or-Treat, and I was pleased with the way it turned out.  The party was fun (though I'll never understand how it makes sense to get kids dressed up in costumes then tell them to eat chili, one of the messiest and most staining foods out there.  Whatever happened to bread and water?) and there were lots of cars to trunk-or-treat to and many of them had fun decorations.

Halloween was treated like a normal school day (except that the teachers didn't give homework - thank goodness) but I tried to make it fun anyway.  I put these little Rice Krispies Treats jack-o-lanterns in their lunches and made jack-o-lantern pancakes in the morning.  Luke also showed his Halloween spirit by wearing an orange belt to school.  (Thank you, Whit!)

I picked the kids up from school and we went home to change into costumes before going to Ben's office for his work Halloween party.  It was so cool!  They had tons of decorations and activities.  There was a room set up with a video of the Thriller dance so you could dance along; there was a room of haunted gingerbread house decorating; there was a haunted room (which Jack wisely decided not to enter); there was a carnival area with a photo station and lots of games, and more.  And so much candy.  We even tried to convince the kids that they didn't need to trick-or-treat since they'd gotten so much candy at the party.  Most of them weren't interested.  (Though Jack would have preferred to stay home than go out trick-or-treating because he thought it was too scary.)

We got home and Cat grabbed something to eat while I got the mummy dogs in the oven.  Then we took her to her friend's house to trick-or-treat there and I brought the younger kids home for dinner.  Jack didn't want to go out trick-or-treating but Eliza was anxious to get going so she ended up leaving with a neighbor while Jack tried to keep things interesting for our trick-or-treaters by making them catch their candy, or by throwing it up in the air as he ran away from the poor kids and making them find the candy in the grass.  Eventually we convinced him to toss the candy into the buckets.  And after some debate about who would go out trick-or-treating, Ben and I made the executive decision to take both boys out, and they both had a really good time.  We ended up running into Eliza and our neighbor pretty quickly so we all ended up walking around together, which was great.

  

And to wrap up this very long post, I give you Eliza's Halloween craft projects from school and Actvity Days.